Today is the first day- shouldn’t be too difficult. Oh, I forgot to tell you! I decided to give up going outside. I had my surgery yesterday to fix my torn ACL so since I can’t really go anywhere, I thought I could use that as my luxury that I’m giving up. So far, it’s not too difficult. I’ve been sitting on the couch, watching TV, eating good food that people have brought me. I’ve played on my phone a bit too. Especially Twitter, I’ve been on my twitter game lately. So ultimately it hasn’t been so rough and hopefully I’m able to stick it out and it doesn’t get harder. We’ll see how I am by the end of the week.
Today is Wednesday. I’m more tired today… I woke up really early because my leg was hurting me. So my mom gave me a pain pill and that about knocked me out for a couple hours. When I woke up, I was lying on the couch, watching SpongeBob Squarepants. It was a good episode, the one where SpongeBob has to sell chocolates. That one gets me every time! Once that was over I had dinner. After dinner, I just kind of laid around. Since I can’t leave the house, I usually spend my nights wasted away, lying on the couch, catching up on episodes of SpongeBob and Full House. I’ve noticed that I am getting a little more impatient as the day carries on. I seem to be more fidgety after lunch and after dinner. Though I don’t have any problem falling asleep, that’s for sure.
Yesterday was awful. I’ve seen this episode of SpongeBob four times. There is nothing on TV, I’ve been lying in the same spot for four days, and I’m losing my tan because I haven’t seen daylight since Sunday. I NEED OUT!!! Even if I can’t run around out there, I have crutches to help me get by. Today isn’t really any easier either. I’m tired of sleeping! Was that an oxymoron? I think it was… Oh my gosh! I’m so bored, that I’m actually doing grammar! I need help, I need a savior. Or I just need to go outside, maybe not a savior (that’s a little dramatic). But anyways, I don’t know how much longer I can take this. Sitting here all day while the children run around outside and play baseball, it’s killing me! JUST LET ME OUT OF HERE.
I’m dead. I have to be. I’ve never experienced something so traumatizing. This has to be what death feels like. I also know I’m dying because there’s a part of me that wants to go back to school on Monday. Like, what is that? Why do I feel this way? I don’t like this… I don’t like this feeling or this atmosphere or these thoughts. I need a cure. I need something to get me out of
this funk. Maybe some fresh air would do me some good. But after today, I’m done. Never again. NEVER again.